Some Where I Belong
by OmniaVanitas
Summary: I want to heal. I want to feel. I want to find something I've wanted all along. Somewhere I belong. Yaoi. Sora x Vanitas. Lemonish One-shot. Based on "Dark Memory".


**A/N**: Yes, you didn't read the summary wrong. This is a **Sora x Vanitas** Yaoi lemonish one-shot, meaning Sora tops and Vani is bottom. Don't like the idea then hit 'back' now.

**Disclaimer: **don't own anything. Characters belong to SE. Lyrics belong to LKP.

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><p><strong>Somewhere I belong<strong>

_When this began  
>I had nothing to say<br>And I'd get lost in the nothingness inside of me  
>I was confused<em>

He laughs in the Darkness, laughing at this vanity.  
>Why does he still exist? Why does he still live?<br>He can ask all he wants, but no one will answer him.  
>His past life no one knows. His being no one cares. He has never existed for real. He is all forgotten by the Light.<p>

He is nothingness, emptiness, _Vanitas_.

Vanitas vanitatum, omnia vanitas.

Until **he **shows up.

* * *

><p><em>And I let it all out to find that I'm<br>Not the only person with these things in mind  
>Inside of me<br>But all the vacancy the words revealed  
>Is the only real thing that I've got left to feel<em>

He doesn't feel anything, until **he** touches him. He can't feel anything, until **he** kisses him.

Inside **his** heart, he is alive, like he used to be, more than he used to be.

"Why are you here?"

"I'm here to heal you.  
>I want to heal you."<p>

Do **his** words hold any meaning?

Nevertheless, **his** touch is the only real thing he has got left to feel.

* * *

><p><em>Nothing to lose<br>Just stuck hollow and alone  
>And the fault is my own<br>And the fault is my own_

"Fuck, Sora, HARDER!"

**He **is ramming into him vigorously. **He **grabs him by a fistful of raven hair, yanking his head backwards.  
><strong>He <strong>forces him on all four, pushes his shoulder down to the whatever surface in this space, taking him from behind mercilessly.

He has never thought he could allow himself to be used like this, yet he allows the brunet boy to do him raw.

He wants to _feel_ the pain, the pleasure, as if they could prove he's still alive, as if it's a proof that his body was _real_.

They aren't real. But they feel everything. Lust, pleasure, ecstasy, euphoria, PAIN.

The boy used to be innocent, but now **he** is fucking him rough.

It's all his own fault.

He is the one who has stolen **his** first kiss, **his** virginity. Now **he**'s learnt everything.

**He** used to be gentle, but now violent. He is the one who has tainted **him** with darkness. They are the same now.

It's all his fault.

* * *

><p><em>I want to heal<br>I want to feel  
>What I thought was never real<br>I want to let go of the pain I've held so long  
>Erase all the pain 'til it's gone<em>

The pain is nothing compared to what he used to go through. The endless agony from killing the Unversed, killing the parts of himself.  
>His self-destruction led to his insanity. But he still wanted to heal, always wanting to be healed. He had been suffered too long.<p>

Yet he was abandoned by his Light. Ventus would never take him back.  
>Ventus never understood how he felt because he never really existed, because he was never <em>real<em>, because he never meant anything to _him_.

He thought it would be the end of his torment once he joined with Ventus again. But _he_ killed him, only wishing to save _his_ own friends.

_He_ rejected him.

Would this shattered heart, the heart full of agony and hatred, ever be able to heal? Ever be able to feel again?

* * *

><p><em>I want to heal<br>I want to feel  
>Like I'm close to something real<br>I want to find something I've wanted all along  
>Somewhere I belong<em>

**He **reached out **his **hand to him.  
><strong>He<strong> took him in. The young kid held him dearly - '_If it'll make you feel better.'_

Instead of disappearing into the Darkness, he found the shelter in this boy's heart.

**He **is the closest thing to real he has ever felt.  
>But he didn't believe <strong>him<strong>. It was just too good for real.

"No one in the world cares about me, so why would you give a shit?"

"'Coz I give a shit."

"Stupid, you are too kind for your own good."

"That's what I live for."

"Why are you here, Sora?"

"Because I want to heal you.

Because I don't like it. Because this is not right. Because you don't deserve this."

I want to heal you.

He laughs. He laughs at **his **stupidity. He laughs out loud like a maniac.  
>His psychotic laughter is resounding through the whole void space.<p>

* * *

><p><em>And I've got nothing to say<br>I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face  
>I was confused<br>Looking everywhere only to find that it's  
>Not the way I had imagined it all in my mind<em>

_So what am I  
>What do I have but negativity<br>'Cause I can't justify the  
>Way everyone is looking at me<em>

His life was meaningless, his existence was void.  
>X-blade, his only purpose of life, was just a big fat lie. It was not what he had imagined in his mind.<p>

The old geezer deceived him, only used him as a puppet.  
>He Light destroyed him, ruined his very purpose of existence, his only light of hope.<p>

But he knew this all from the very beginning.

To the pathetic negativity such as him, Hope was a mere illusion. What did he have is nothing but despair.

Spiral of despair. Endless cycle of agony. They never end.

* * *

><p><em>Nothing to lose<br>Nothing to gain  
>Hollow and alone<br>And the fault is my own  
>The fault is my own<em>

"No, you are wrong. There will always be Light, even in the deepest Darkness."

But **he **disagreed. **He** came to him with a bright grin, cerulean eyes shining with purest light.

Ever since then, he is fascinated by **him**.

He wants to kiss this boy, embrace him, touch him, **fuck** him, or **be fucked** by him.  
>He wants to make <strong>him<strong> belong to him. He wants to make himself belong to **him**.

So they fucked.

Screams. Thrusts. Blood. Pain. Insanity.

This is something you would never do in the real world.

"I've tainted you."

"No, it is my own choice."

It is his fault that **his** pureness is polluted, yet **he **is still trying to heal him.

* * *

><p><em>I want to heal<br>I want to feel  
>What I thought was never real<br>I want to let go of the pain I've held so long  
>Erase all the pain 'til it's gone<em>

_I want to heal  
>I want to feel<br>Like I'm close to something real  
>I want to find something I've wanted all along<br>Somewhere I belong_

He is licking **his** cheek slowly, seductively, while **he** keeps thrusting into him again and again and again.

He is digging into **his** back forcefully, asking for MORE, demanding Sora to go FASTER, HARDER, DEEPER.

They groan, they bite, they rock together, they pant heavily like animals, like two animals trying to kill each other, to tear each other apart.  
>He has successfully turned <strong>him<strong> into a hungry animal.

They open up each other's wound, and then lick it to heal. It is their way of healing. It is their way to feel.

Their same faces twist in pure lust and bliss. Their same voice groan and howl in ecstasy.

They are the same, yet completely different.

They only belong to each other.

* * *

><p><em>I will never know<br>Myself until I do this on my own  
>And I will never feel<br>Anything else until my wounds are healed  
>I will never be<br>Anything 'til I break away from me  
>And I will break away<br>I'll find myself today_

He wants **him** too much, to the point he wants to break away from **him**.

He has tried to destroy **him**. He has tried to break **his** heart. He has tried to engulf **him** completely with Darkness. But the kid is simply invincible.

No matter how animalistic **he** is when they fuck, he always returns to human in the end. **  
>He<strong> can absorb his darkness, then purifies it. **His** light never fades.

Like now, **he** is hugging him tightly with a satisfied smile on **his** young face. They lie in each other's arms peacefully.  
>The warmth of human body hypnotizes him, the warmth that he never has had luxury to feel in the past.<p>

His heart beats eventually slow down from the high, yet he still can _feel_.

Sora makes him feel alive, feel real, feel peace. **  
>He<strong> makes sure he feels all the pain, the heat, the pleasure, the warmth, and the_ love_.

At last, he finally finds where he belongs.

* * *

><p><em>I want heal<br>I want to feel like I'm  
>Somewhere I belong<em>

**Sora**.

He whispers **his **name.

This is what he's been longing for all along.

This is where I belong.

Your heart.  
>My heaven.<p>

**Sora**.

-F.I.N-

* * *

><p><strong>AN again: **I was listening to LKP's _Somewhere I belong_ when I was trying to type the next chapter of _Emptiness_ tonight, and somehow this idea just struck me that I just couldn't have it off my mind unless I wrote it up. Actually it was one of my reviewers of _Dark Memory_ (Vanitas' back story) who pointed out that this song suits Vanitas so well and I think they are very right. The lyrics almost feel like it's intentionally written for Vanitas. But you have to read his back story before you understand why I'm saying this. If anyone, I think Sora would be the only one who can save and heal Vanitas. Sora would be the only one who welcomes Vanitas into his light with open arms. Not even Ventus could do that. Sora is just that type of guys, if he learns about Vanitas' past, I'm sure he will do.

I was trying a different style here, more like random thoughts and feelings. I hope it's not too confusing.

And, YEAH! I've done a SorVan fic FINALLY! (Anyone wants more? XD)

**edits**: Geez, the formatting function on this site sucks majorly. I hope I got it right this time.


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